Our presence affects others….all of the time


Have you ever wondered why it is that when you are in some people’s presence you feel defensive, uncomfortable, anxious, angry, sad or maybe a combination of all of of these? Why do you think this is? Has it anything to do with you and the way that you are interacting with this person/persons? This is certainly a possibility. Could it be to do with another person’s energy and theeir presence and the way that you are receiving this? Most certainly.

It doesn’t feel good when you are around people who are giving out to others and their environment a feeling a feeling of hatred, dissatisfaction, anger, negativity; this energy is likely to lead you to feeling those things too and can affect your behaviour and feelings for the rest of that day.

Think about this. Try and remember a time in someone’s presence when you felt really relaxed, comfortable and happy; this really does feel good. How often in your week do you experience this – when you go to the shop, pertrol station, work, waiting for a bus/train, when driving, when you are in a restaurant etc? I would imagine that the ratio of these good experiences in relation to the umcomfortable ones is much lower.

Can we change this? I guess that most of us would prefer to feel nice and to be treated well? The answer to that is a resounding ‘Yes!’ But don’t expect others to do all the changing! We are all capable of influencing how others are…let me be clear…we cannot change others….but we can influence others by the way in which we behave.

Think for a moment about how others feel in your company, what sort of comments/feedback do you receive? or, imagine being with you, how would you feel?

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3 thoughts on “Our presence affects others….all of the time

  1. Pingback: Always with you. « Life is…………..

  2. Hey Jan,
    I heartily agree, and I enjoyed reading your post! Yes, some people just seem to give out the ‘stay away’ vibe, and I know that people get the same impression about me at times. But I’m so attuned to this in other people that I’ve begun ‘reading’ what they think of me so that I learn to give off different signals. I know now that I give off the ‘stay away’ vibe when I’m insecure–about my abilities at work, about my inability to engage in small talk, and sometimes when I’m lost in my own world. Do you think that fear or insecurity is what makes us all push people away? If it is, then the solution becomes simpler: that when someone pushes you away is when they are probably in most need of comfort and reassurance…
    A life coach specializing in personal development sounds like a lot of fun! I wish you luck! 🙂

    • Hi Michelle,glad you found my blog useful and thankyou for being so honest about yourself! I think you are absolutely right that we are more likely to pull away from others due to feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem. I think we retreat into panic mode and can’t interact… its one Ive grappled with since being a teenager and still have now again. I was thinking about sharing some of this in my next blog. Yes, love my work! Great to connect with you Michelle!

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